i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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