Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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