Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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