What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize