I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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