I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
where am i from again
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
