On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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