She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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