Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
