Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
