need another drink. this is the easiest way
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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