Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
