I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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