Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
