If that was your dad, he is hot
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that