I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wipe that smile off your face.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.