She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually