that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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