but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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