we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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