Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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