so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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