I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
