it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
