I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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