How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
