Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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