can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
PANTIES FOUND
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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