i jhust puked up my retainher.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
