i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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