dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
