youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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