Please, let me fuck your mom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
