I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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