like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
