the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
