their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
