One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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