I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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