I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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