i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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