Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
