True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
