They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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