Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
