btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
