I hate all girls vehemently.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Randomize
