worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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