you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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