then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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