idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
