Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You've changed since you got that strap on
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