You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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