Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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