Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
