thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
Let's paint friendship bongs
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.