we're blogging at a bar
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans