sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
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Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?